Posts Tagged ‘acting’
My 2010 Gay Pride PSA (that will never air!).
Tuesday, June 15th, 2010
What would I talk about if I had my very own public service announcement?
I’d probably waste the whole thing telling some embarrassing story about growing up gay. Or how much I hate being a queer man pushing 50. What if, though, I really allowed myself to cut the crap and get real?
The result, as it turns out, would be something like this: a little humor, a pinch of honesty, and a punch in the gut. Happy Gay Pride Month!
Tags: acting, Aging, aids, culture, gay, help others, hiv, meth, recovery, Sexuality
Posted in All Other Video Postings, Gay Life, Living with HIV/AIDS, Meth and Recovery, My Fabulous Disease, News, Prevention and Policy | 21 Comments »
Secrets of the Masturbatory Male
Saturday, May 22nd, 2010
May is National Masturbation Month – Hurry, folks! Only a few days left to celebrate! – and I’ll admit to feeling smug, because I have more experience with masturbatory gay men than anyone else I know.
During my years in Los Angeles in the 1980’s, I owned (and oh yes, operated) Telerotic, a gay men’s “phone fantasy†company. As a struggling young actor I had begun this odd vocation by working for an outfit as one of their “fantasy callers,†and as it turns out, I had a way with words. Within a year I struck out on my own.
My job was to sound credible (in roles ranging from cocky Venice Beach bodybuilder to friendly firefighter to surfer dude), manipulate the customer toward the prime objective within the typical call duration of thirteen minutes, and convince him that our connection was mutually mind-blowing to ensure he would call again.
And they did. Over the years I spoke to thousands, maybe tens of thousands of men, some of whom requested me faithfully every week, uttering secrets they had never spoken aloud before. It was amazing insight into the realm of fantasy, loneliness and desire. It was a social anthropologist’s dream.
They were usually men trapped in a life without physical connection. Some were married, true, but most of them lived in small towns and were helpless to locate male companionship. Their desires weren’t so bizarre that they were forced to resort to phone sex to speak of them. Their requests were simple and almost touchingly mundane. Stroke me there. Let me tell you what I think about. Take care of me.
My interest in them was a lifeline to many of my regular customers. They would reveal loves lost or found, the pain of isolation and their dreams of having a home with the right man someday. Occasionally their patronage would end after news of a potential boyfriend, or resume when it didn’t work out. Sometimes our calls ran long, as I gently led a faceless, suffering voice away from his grief and embarrassed tears.
Truly revealing myself, however, was an occupational hazard I didn’t risk. I was as callous as I was ambitious, and their intimacies meant little more than new material to plumb for future calls. No way would I compromise my fantasy stud persona to admit I was actually a skinny redhead trying to make a buck in Hollywood.
When AIDS headlines increased, so did business. And at last, something jolted me from my shallow priorities.
Maybe I’d had enough of continuing the charade, of being taken into their confidence and giving them bullshit in return, of representing a bogus sexual ideal for the sake of my continued prosperity, of being an incredibly convincing lie. Maybe I could no longer reconcile the dream world my phone calls inhabited with the encroaching nightmare real life was becoming.
Maybe it was the customer who, in the midst of our graphic phone sex call, helpfully offered to get a condom from the drawer so I could put it on. AIDS had permeated this man’s psyche so completely it had pierced his very fantasies. His presence of mind to protect himself – and by extension me, the phone whore on the other end of the line – was a gesture too filled with grace to comprehend. It stopped me in my tracks and broke my cynical heart.
It wasn’t long before I sold the company and ended my stint as a sexual entrepreneur. For a while I entertained friends with the sexy secrets and lessons learned from the disembodied voices of strangers – perhaps as I have implied I would do here – but that exercise no longer holds my interest. Call me reformed, but it feels like betrayal.
Today what I remember most is listening to the sound of profound longing, of men chasing a glancing, counterfeit intimacy because it was all life would afford them, and hearing their desire for something familiar and their doubts about finding it. I’m ashamed of my calculated exploitation of their hearts’ desire, sexual and otherwise.
And I am haunted, deeply and forever, by the sound of trust in their voices.
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This period of my life is covered in more detail in my book, A Place Like This.
Tags: A Place Like This, acting, aids, culture, gay, hiv, politics, Recreation, Sexuality
Posted in Books and Writings, Gay Life, My Fabulous Disease, Prevention and Policy | 4 Comments »
The Shirt Heard ‘Round the World
Thursday, April 29th, 2010
So, living with HIV is still quite a shocker, it appears. Whether true or rumored, whether “HIV Positive” is voluntarily displayed as an act of activism or the status is maliciously spread on the internet, the label still packs quite a punch. And I have to wonder why.
Annie Lennox did something extraordinary last week when she appeared on an American Idol special wearing a t-shirt that read “HIV POSITIVE.” She has worn the shirt before, and does so in solidarity with those living with HIV. And yet, even though I knew as I watched the show why she wore the shirt, it was still provocative to me, and even unsettling. She made her point beautifully, because I stared at the shirt throughout her performance. But something in me wished it would go away. I wondered how long the song would go on, who else was watching, and what they might be thinking. And I felt exposed and vulnerable.
That feeling of self consciousness is a personal bit of irony, considering I once wore almost the exact same t-shirt. In 1993, I moved to Atlanta to direct an AIDS agency, and at my first gay pride parade I wore a shirt emblazoned with “NO ONE KNOWS I’M HIV POSITIVE.”
Being young and more cavalier could account for it, and it certainly was intended to elicit a reaction of awareness, if not compassion. I remember feeling exposed then as well, but a feeling of deep pride and purpose trumped any embarrassment I had. I knew I was being judged, and that there were, even among the gay male crowd on the streets there, those who might prefer to keep their distance. But the bottom line is, I was among friends. I felt safe.
So why, 17 years later, was it so uncomfortable seeing Annie Lennox in the shirt? Do white female singers exist outside the HIV positive norm, and that bothers us? Would it have been easier to see Queen Latifah wear the shirt? No? Adam Lambert, then? Too young? Nathan Lane, perhaps?
An internet firestorm over Lindsey Lohan’s HIV status dialed up the hysteria even further. Someone reportedly hacked into her father’s Twitter account and produced a tweet saying Lindsey would have to face the consequences of her actions by “living the rest of her life with HIV.” The internet was immediately ablaze with recriminations and righteous indignation.
Lord. There’s a virus called HIV, and people get it by having sex with each other. Why are we still attaching such horrific social baggage to the infection? At worst, someone becoming infected had sex (or shared a needle) with the wrong person. We have gays on every channel, reality shows devoted to rehab, and swingers of every stripe on daytime television. I’m just bemused that someone with HIV still warrants stopping the presses. It doesn’t seem to fit anymore.
And that’s why Annie Lennox made such a wonderful contribution to the dialogue. She made me uncomfortable, and reminded me I have no valid reason why.
Tags: acting, aids, culture, hiv, politics
Posted in Gay Life, Living with HIV/AIDS, My Fabulous Disease, News, Prevention and Policy | 3 Comments »
Dixie Carter’s death leaves historic AIDS legacy.
Sunday, April 11th, 2010
In 1987, when nurses would still flip coins to see which would enter the room of an AIDS patient and politicians debated sending those with HIV to an isolated island, something truly remarkable happened. And the passing Friday of the great Dixie Carter, 70, is a fine opportunity to revisit the courage and integrity displayed during those dark times.
A television sitcom in 1987 (!) had the guts to confront the topic of AIDS, gay men, hatred, ignorance and compassion. Very little was left unsaid when “Designing Women” aired an episode in which the girls plan a memorial for a gay friend (a clip on YouTube contains a stunning three minutes from the episode of honest fear, HIV prevention information, and outright bigotry).
Dixie Carter’s character Julia is allowed her moment of righteous indignation and no one does it better (her “Designing Women” clip of “the night the lights went out in Georgia” is a classic for the ages). But Carter’s involvement with what may be the first time a sitcom mentioned AIDS is something about which she was very proud.
In 1998, Carter was interviewed by Metro Weekly, D.C.’s gay and lesbian newspaper, and talked about the show’s place in HIV/AIDS history:
MW: The show was gay-friendly in its politics and themes. And it was, to my knowledge, the first sitcom in the history of television to deal with the AIDS crisis in a compassionate setting. And that was 1987. It was…
CARTER: …Unheard of. Do you want to know something just shocking? [The show's producer] Linda Bloodworth-Thomason’s mother died of AIDS. This was before that particular episode was written. Her mother got AIDS from a blood transfusion administered by the Red Cross. We were in the first year of the series and Linda came to me — she was crying hysterically and horrified — and she told me her mother had been diagnosed with AIDS. I had known her mother—she was a lovely, smart, adorable, wonderful woman. And she was carried away by this awful disease.
Although she always wanted to be the vanguard, Linda might not have been driven to write this show so early in the scheme of things. But she was thrown over the abyss because her mother had died and was treated in such an awful way in the hospital at the time — nurses could not be prevailed upon to go into her room.
MW: What was the reaction on the show’s set when they brought in the AIDS script?
CARTER: We were overwhelmed. We hadn’t made the connection then about how powerful these shows were going to wind up being! We had no idea. No idea. We had no idea that it would be something that people would come up to us years later on the street and say, “That show you did about AIDS meant so much to me. Thank you so much.”
Linda Bloodworth-Thomason and her lead actress, the now-late, great Dixie Carter, still deserve our thanks, for showing bravery and compassion in the worst of times.
Tags: acting, aids, culture, gay, gratitude, hiv, politics, research
Posted in Gay Life, Living with HIV/AIDS, My Fabulous Disease, News | 9 Comments »
Smokin’ Kraken: Why gay men love monsters.
Friday, April 9th, 2010
Long before the Big Moment in the shamelessly delightful “Clash of the Titans” remake, somewhere between the Winnebago-sized scorpions and the fatal gaze of a slithering Medusa, it occurred to me that I’ve been squealing with delight at monsters longer than, well, I’ve squealed for anything else. And I still can’t get enough.
My first boyhood crush was on a dead man. He was a zombie named Quentin Collins, with eyes that pierced my gay soul and sideburns the size of the Florida peninsula. He stalked across my TV screen on weekday afternoons at precisely 3:30, when the series “Dark Shadows” introduced me to all manner of vampires, werewolves and ghouls.
Quentin was dreamy (literally, since he spent a lot of time staring into space in a zombie trance), and had a lonesome, lost quality I recognized but couldn’t yet identify. I saved allowance money for the album (“Quentin’s Theme” should be played at my wedding, or my memorial, whichever comes first), and replaced the Bobby Sherman poster in my bedroom for one of Barnabas Collins, the series’ vampire star.
But I set aside boyish things — and graduated to horror films. Slashers did the trick for a while because I delighted in those oversexed straight couples getting whacked. If my love dared not speak its name, I found it satisfying that straight love was so damn hazardous.
But it was never the killing that attracted me. It was the mysterious, gruesome, self-loathing monster. Here I was, in the midst of full pubescent hormonal freak out, with a body revolting against me and villainous carnal desires. I didn’t just sympathize with the Alien and Pinhead and Freddy, I wanted to take them to lunch and find out how they managed to make it through the day.
My taste for cinematic horror took a break for a decade or so, during the worst of the AIDS crisis. Something about watching “Re-Animator” on VHS while my friend Lesley lay dying in the guest room, well, let’s say it severely reduced the fun factor. AIDS was the monster, and my sympathy was spent. For at least ten dreary years I stuck to lame romantic comedies.
So if the state of my personal AIDS crisis can be measured in movie genres, my trauma must be subsiding because movie monsters are back with a vengeance. I’ve been popcorn-munching to zombies, saw killers and Halloween remakes and having a ball. Which brings me back to the Big Moment from Clash of the Titans.
That would be Liam Neeson as Zeus, growling with magnificence as he commands “Release the Kraken!” No three cinematic words since “you complete me” have so enraptured my senses, and they are worth the wait. The Kraken gets unleashed and all manner of body parts start flying.
And I stand by my gay monster metaphors, because the Kraken is just a lonely gay kid, too. You should have seen the stir I created at the 1977 Junior Homecoming when I arrived, the school’s weird gay creature, wearing platform boots with tight khakis tucked into them at the knee. I relished in unsettling the crowd and seeing the jaws drop and the fingers pointing at the beast. No Kraken could have cleared the dance floor as fast as my solo disco moment, just before being chased to my car.
It’s hard running in platform boots. I could have used some monster scorpions for backup.
Tags: acting, gay, Sexuality
Posted in Books and Writings, Family and Friends, Gay Life, My Fabulous Disease | 5 Comments »
Win a car, bed a star in “a place like this…”
Friday, April 2nd, 2010
When I was nineteen years old, I vacationed to Los Angeles and won a car on “The Price is Right.â€
And so begins my first book, “A Place Like This,” about my years in 1980′s Los Angeles. The book has been on my mind lately because of my work preparing a new one. Since the book is a true, first person account of working as an actor, becoming a phone sex entrepreneur 
and drug addict, and then watching as AIDS changed the landscape (and me) beyond all recognition, well, the memories are never very far away.
Why does my tryst with a movie icon seem more pathetic than ever, while the AIDS years have a whiff of romance and heroics? The prism of time does some strange editing to our life stories, do doubt. At any rate, if you remember that perilous time, or weren’t in the thick of it, the book has been called a “poignant, darkly funny” ride.
If you’re curious, you can read the prologue here on my site (and watch me win the car in question), see a review from Southern Voice, or visit the Amazon page for reader reviews (and damn, is my book actually selling “new and used” for as low as $6.43? I need a new agent. Okay, an agent.).
I must admit I like the cover. I suppose it could have been better (and what’s with the Wagon Train font for the title?), but I do so love the image of the Hollywood sign being snorted up. It’s perfectly descriptive of the book: funny if you let it be, tragic because it can end no other way.
Tags: A Place Like This, acting, aids, gay, hiv, recovery, Sexuality
Posted in Anita Mann and Acting Gigs, Books and Writings, Gay Life, Living with HIV/AIDS, My Fabulous Disease | 1 Comment »
Anita came out to play last night…
Saturday, March 20th, 2010
Sometimes the old girl busts out of her shell (how she breathes stuffed in a gym bag in the back of the closet I’ll never know) and takes the stage. She got her chance last night, when my drag alter ego brought some laughs to a group of friends in recovery with her infamous TV set number. They responded with love and applause, so she happily withdrew to her musty closet until another time.
It reminded me of her earlier exploits, when the show “Anita Will Recover!” was produced for a sober event in Atlanta. The first few minutes of the show include a interactive media number and then a sit-down before Dick (my actual gay brother) strolls in to deliver some withering remarks.
The first time Anita hit a stage to benefit those recovering from drugs and alcohol, she was pursuing the title of Miss Pink Cloud in Atlanta. After having performed with The Armorettes for a couple years back in the 90′s, I was grateful to resurrect Anita for the purpose of helping others who battles the same demons as I have. The oldest video I have of Anita is with the Armorettes, performing an interactive video rendition of Funkytown with a special appearance by the incomparable Mary Edith Pitts.
Sometimes the message is carried without high tech props. As a writer, I think I may be most proud of Anita sitting down and reading “Twas the Night Before Christmas” at a sober fund raising event. Of course, this being Anita, the story wanders off to places your daddy never explored!
Tags: acting, drag, gay, gratitude, help others, meth, recovery
Posted in All Other Video Postings, Anita Mann and Acting Gigs, Gay Life, Meth and Recovery, My Fabulous Disease | 3 Comments »
Anita Mann performs “Funkytown” with the Armorettes
Saturday, March 6th, 2010
Back in 1997, while performing with The Armorettes (who still have a weekly show raising money for people with HIV/AIDS in Atlanta), I created the first of Anita Mann’s signature act with this, a fun house freak-out of a number, “Funkytown” (also featuring the great Mary Edith Pitts). Producing this number helped me become familiar with what I could do with interactive video, and eventually led to Anita’s famous TV Set number, which I still perform today at events for gays and lesbians in recovery.
Tags: acting, aids, drag, gay, help others
Posted in All Other Video Postings, Anita Mann and Acting Gigs, Gay Life, My Fabulous Disease | No Comments »
Video promo for “Night of the Living Dead” on stage
Saturday, March 6th, 2010
My brother, Dick King, directed a stage production of “Night of the Living Dead” and asked me to re-create scenes from the movie on video, using the stage actors. What zombie horror movie fan could refuse? This project was a blast. Dick and I also did a television morning show interview that had the crew cracking up in the background.
This promo may be “home made,” but it suits the material perfectly, and I’m proud of my use of sound and music.
Tags: acting, family, help others
Posted in All Other Video Postings, Anita Mann and Acting Gigs, Family and Friends, My Fabulous Disease | No Comments »
Talking zombies on the morning news
Saturday, March 6th, 2010
Since helping re-create scenes from “Night of the Living Dead” is too much fun to pass up, I visited Shreveport, Louisiana to help my brother Dick mount a production of the zombie classic. Here, I’m interviewed on the morning news while Dick clowns around as the late, great director of the production.
Tags: acting, family, help others
Posted in All Other Video Postings, Anita Mann and Acting Gigs, Family and Friends, My Fabulous Disease | No Comments »