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March 4th, 2010

Serosorting and Gay Sex Clubs

By far the most viewed episode of the series so far (was it the guided tour of a sex club? Hmm. I wonder.). Since serosorting (limiting ones sex partners to those with the same HIV status) has been written and discussed a lot lately, I interviewed Bill from Poz4Play.com, who hosts a sex party once a month exclusively for HIV positive gay men. But before we sat down for a chat he gave me a tour of his play space before the doors opened. For anyone working in HIV prevention (or simply curious) this is required viewing.

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6 Responses to “Serosorting and Gay Sex Clubs”

  1. D Says:

    April 21st, 2010 at 10:42 pm

    Mark, I like your blog and your writings at TheBody.com, please keep up the good work.

    What do you think of Serosorting? Do you think that it’s more denial or an excuse for people to have unprotected sex as you said in the HIV+ mag article?

    I have friends who are Poz who do not bareback at all and while they use condoms for anal sex they do not have sex with people who are not HIV+ at all.

    As an HIV neg person I assume that everyone I am with is Poz until we get tested together, are monogamous with each other all while having safer sex, and then get tested again. I personally do not bareback or swallow.

    What about how with two or more poz people barebacking can expose them to other strains of HIV and reinfection?

  2. Mark S. King Says:

    August 1st, 2010 at 9:30 am

    I discussed this very point with Bill in the video, and it’s a good one. Bill believes the parties “are not for everyone,” and acknowledges that sex with and without condoms occurs. His point is that this is a space in which DISCLOSURE of HIV status isn’t a burden for participants. The choices from there are their business.

    I believe that any activity that contains the spread of HIV is a good thing, and it is understandable why poz men who have dealt with rejection and the feeling of being “tainted” are attracted to both serosorting and barebacking. For me, maturity has helped me limit my sex partners and keep in mind other factors — do I know them? Is my viral load undetectable and is theirs? Etc,

  3. GREGORY ROSS Says:

    August 4th, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    I WATCHED YOUR YOU TUBE VIDEO ON BILL’S SEX / HIV PARTIES AND I THINK ITS A GREAT IDEA. I HAVE BEEN HIV FOR 6 YRS AND HAVE A HARD TIME MEETING AND DATING ALONG THE WAY. AND TO KNOW THERE IS AN OPTION TO GO AND MEET OTHERS IN A SOCIAL SETTING IS A WONDERFUL THING. AND FROM WHAT I’VE SEEN IN THE VIDEO BILL HAS DONE A GREAT JOB TURNING IT INTO A NICE, CLEAN, SOCIAL SETTING. ..BRAVO TO YOU BILL AND I LOOK FORWARD TO GOING TO ONE OF HIS PARTIES VERY SOON….GREG IN KENNESAW

  4. Ross Says:

    February 18th, 2011 at 1:55 am

    It’s liberating to have this important topic addressed in such a mature and constructive manner.

    I find it incredible when simply because one is HIV positive that every Tom Dick or Harry feels that it’s his or her business how I conduct my sexual life with other Poz men. We have to be so diplomatic and careful not to ruffle the feathers of HIV hysterical “others”. It is almost as if the ones who judge us for sero-sorting think that our sentence for contracting the virus SHOULD BE that we wrap ourselves in multiple layers of latex for the rest of our lives. We shouldn’t be enjoying bareback sex (if one chooses to) with other poz men because they can’t enjoy barebacking because they are neg. If I can’t do it then you can’t kind of mentality.

    Thank goodness for men like Bill (yeah, he’s cute as a button) for elevating the sexual environment from that dirty little secret to something of dignity.

  5. Bruce Says:

    May 18th, 2011 at 7:32 pm

    Hi I am new to your site. Finally discovered a link to some direction. Serosorting is a healthy concept and safe outlet for us HIV’ers. None of us want to compromise any non-afflicted partners! This link is an avenue to meeting people,enjoying each other; maybe shaving horns in an appropriate manner! Good health to all. Bruce

  6. joe Says:

    May 15th, 2012 at 6:03 am

    While I agree with serosorting, I must say and warn everyone that barebacking is very dangerous, yes, even for poz people. Why is barebacking still dangerous? Because re-infection is a very real risk and one may even become super-infected with different strains of the virus. In such a case, the disease becomes very difficult to manage. Please be safe and do not bareback if you have any STD at all. A promiscuous lifestyle comes with risks, hell, even condoms do not guarantee 100% protection. Please assume the consequences of such a lifestyle and be safe; always demand a medical certificate from your partners. STDs are no joke and they are not fun. NEVER bareback if you have HIV.

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