Posts Tagged ‘meth’
My Muscles, My Disease: Portrait of a Gay Drug Addict
Tuesday, January 25th, 2011
There is a folder, tucked within a folder, buried deep in my computer files. I shouldn’t be looking at its contents, yet I can’t bring myself to delete it altogether. It is labeled MARCUS, and inside the folder is my disease.
During my years of crystal meth addiction I went by the name of Marcus, at least to dealers and tricks and fellow addicts. It helped me determine who was calling my cell phone – those calling for Mark or Marcus usually had very different agendas – and Marcus even became an alternate persona as my drug addiction progressed.
When partying as Marcus, I felt confident and aloof. I took awful chances. I never met a strobe light I didn’t like or a box on a dance floor I wouldn’t jump on. A steroid-crazed gym regimen and the dehydration of drug abuse transformed my body into the low fat, pumped up gay ideal.
Photographs of that body, in full, preening strut, are the contents of the MARCUS folder. The pictures were my calling card for online sex-and-drug pursuits. They suggest nudity but are cropped modestly – although God knows that much more damning images of me surely exist in the dark corners of cyberspace.
In one of the few pictures showing my face, I stand under a running shower – a pitiful Playgirl pose, spray nozzle in hand – with a blank face and shipwrecked eyes. The only emotion on display, just around the edges, is a dull fear.
My life was precisely as pictured. It wouldn’t be long before my drug use trumped my gym schedule, and my status in online chat rooms devolved from intriguing hottie to that crazy mess that doesn’t look like his pictures.
Since then, my recovery from drug addiction has helped me understand that the Gay Strut is key to my disease. It is a sly porthole back to raging insanity.
Explaining all this feels idiotic. What vanity I possess, asking you to gaze upon my former, overwrought beauty as I complain about the consequences. It feels like an invitation to tell me how much healthier I look now, or that recovery is “an inside job.†I know this. I’m just sharing the curious road that got me here.
My recovery depends on healing my mind, body and spirit. At the moment I’m two out of three.
My spirit is happy today. My smiles are joyful and plentiful. My mind is clear, although I don’t kid myself, there are remnants of a brain pickled in methamphetamine for many years. But healing is underway, and my mind and spirit are enjoying the process.
Only my body lags behind, injured, resentful, and suspicious of the path to well being. I’m sedentary and stubborn. I relate being physically fit with something traumatic that once hounded and eventually ruined me.
I want to be healthier, and to control my weight and rising cholesterol. I need to fix this, I tell myself, but I’m afraid to fix this. There’s the potential that I’ll go back to a lifestyle more horrible than my expanding waistline.
It’s good to get in shape again, I tell myself with sincere intentions. The treadmill is really taking off the pounds and I should start weight lifting again and hot damn, that muscle recall really works just look at my arms and I should buy new tank tops and work out even harder and get steroids prescribed again and what’s wrong with hanging out at a bar shirtless and shooting pool and sure I’ll do one hit of that, thanks, and man this body of mine would look damn hot at a sex party right now and who’s your dealer and do you have needles…?
Getting back in shape is an easy call. Except my mind puts physical fitness on the same crazy train as my drug addiction.
There is a solution. There always is. And I’m working on it. The fact I acknowledge my insanity is a good start. Now I can begin the process of teaching my body new tricks.
There are traps on the road to recovery, as anyone getting clean and sober will tell you. I’m much better at seeing them clearly than I used to be. But the vigilance it requires is a full time job.
I get afraid that a dangerous choice might look perfectly innocent. Or be a reasonable part of life. It could be a healthy choice, even, at least for you.
But sometimes, my very reckoning can look as pretty as a picture.
———————————————————————
I felt obliged to show some of the Marcus photos, but have cropped and altered them into something less decadent. Any similarity to pictures you may have seen in online chat rooms is purely coincidental. This topic is also something I’ve done my best to separate from my series of fitness videos with expert Nelson Vergel. Why burden the guy with my insanity? Thanks for reading, and I hope you’ll share this. — Mark
Tags: Aging, culture, gay, meth, physical, recovery
Posted in Books and Writings, Gay Life, Meth and Recovery, My Fabulous Disease | 17 Comments »
My mega-blog week with The Bilerico Project
Tuesday, November 16th, 2010
This week I am honored to be a “guest host” for The Bilerico Project, the leading online blogging salon for GLBT commentary, politics and culture. My job is to contribute three times a day and get out of my HIV rut! I’m having fun with pop culture topics you don’t normally see around here (although my most discussed posting so far is about the tension between HIV positive and negative gay men, and it has managed to piss off both).
Here’s a collection of the postings so far for the week. You can always post a comment here, or feel free to leave one at the posts’ Bilerico location. Any friend of mine is a friend of theirs.
The Critic’s Foyer. When Gene Shalit announced he was leaving The Today Show after 40 years of reviewing movies, somebody had to take the job, right? With apologies to Mr. Shalit’s “The Critic’s Corner,” here is my gay, snarky, snappy review of recent movies. This was a fun video to produce!
Jocks are Sexy. Straps are Silly. Jockstraps are a costume, like wearing a harness to a leather bar. Right? I consider the topic oh-so-carefully and provide some history of the garment. At least finding the pictures to use with this post was fun.
Positive vs. Negative: The Truce is Broken. My post about “the tense truce between HIV positive and HIV negative gay men” got me in some hot water (wait until you read the passionate comments!). I wrote about the angry responses I received to my video that praised HIV negative gay men, saying that a nerve had been struck that dealt with buried resentments between positive and negative. Some readers, though, just thought I came across as sarcastic in the video, and it was my style that ruined the substance.
Dancing Away the Sins of the Mother. The series Dancing with the Stars has a way of showing you a celebrity as you’ve never seen them before or, as in the case of Bristol Palin, allowing us to see her humanity and gumption and forget for a moment who the hell her mother is. Bristol has grown on me, and challenged my tendency to demonize opponents — and even by extension, their kids. Bristol’s future on the show doesn’t matter. She’s already done something amazing.
The Top 5 Most Adorable Animal Videos. It’s shameful how spoiled my three dogs are. Thank God my partner is worse about it than I am. So you can imagine how much fun it was for me to research and then create this list. Warning to cat lovers: the list is dog heavy, but a few cute kitties make the grade.
The week is still unfolding; I’ll check back with more Bilerico posts later. Coming up next week: a great new video episode, wherein HIV exercise and nutrition expert Nelson Vergel takes me to the gym, cleans out my fridge, and lectures me about white bread.
Tags: Aging, aids, culture, family, gay, gratitude, hiv, lipo, meth, recovery, Recreation, serosorting, Sexuality
Posted in All Other Video Postings, Books and Writings, Family and Friends, Gay Life, Living with HIV/AIDS, My Fabulous Disease, News, Prevention and Policy | 3 Comments »
Examining death, including the one I caused.
Monday, November 8th, 2010
My memorial service will be fabulous, I can assure you of that. I first outlined it during the initial, deadly wave of AIDS in the 1980’s, and have edited it here and there over the years, updating the songs I would like played or the video footage shown.
Focusing on the spectacle, though, may just be avoiding the facts: if it’s my memorial, that means I’m dead. And death is a subject about which I have both too much and too little understanding. I’ve seen more than my share of it, and yet I have no greater insight than the next guy.
That’s especially true if the next guy is Chris Glaser. In The Final Deadline: What Death Has Taught Me About Life, his moving and thought provoking new book, the gay theologian and philosopher shows both awe for his topic and a likable willingness to accept uncertainty.
Glaser isn’t out to win souls for Jesus or explain “what comes next.†He leaves that to you and your own beliefs, thank you very much. He’s much more interested in examining death as it affects us, the living, those who remain. And as it turns out, death is all about life.
“Death forces us back on life, as a shut door forces us to find another passageway, a roadblock prompts us to take a detour, or a great loss encourages us to savor what remains,†Glaser writes.
Glaser segregates the book into chapters on manners of death, such as “Death by Murder,†“Death in Public,†“Precipitous Death,†and so on, and he populates his musings with stories of his many dead friends and acquaintances (“You have more dead friends than Jessica Fletcher,†a friend tells him in reference to the Murder, She Wrote heroine, and by book’s end you tend to agree).
Those friends provide lively characters and dramatic deaths from which Glaser draws insight. They include clergymen, relatives, celebrities, criminals, and pets, dying of everything from cancer to crashes (car and plane), overdose, stabbings (more than one!), gunshot, and even someone setting himself on fire on Sunset Boulevard. An impressive coterie of killings, to be sure. AIDS, of course, haunts the “Death by Plague†chapter.
Throughout, my active imagination kept indicating something miraculous or supernatural might occur, and sharing Glaser’s interest in all things, well, dead, I hoped for them. Would Glaser witness spirits leaving the recently departed? Would he sense something at his friend’s fatal crime scene? When Glaser receives the typewriter of a murdered friend who studied paranormal activity, and then leaves a blank piece of paper in the carriage, I held my breath for paragraphs, waiting for the instrument to clack out the name of the murderer or at least a howdy-do.
The damn thing never does. Instead, Glaser draws his own messages about his late friend’s untimely demise, including the value of leaving something behind, a gift for your survivors, be it in writing or in their hearts.
The Final Deadline is really a memoir of sorts, and Glaser’s engaging honesty about his own lifelong fascination with death make him an endearing guide through sometimes morbid terrain. “Watch boxes that snapped shut were ideal coffins,†he confides about his childhood burials of departed goldfish and parakeets. He enjoyed the solemn ritual of “preparing its final resting place, covering it with earth and prayer and flowers…â€
His final chapter, “Death Made Personal,†delivers just that, as he recounts the deaths of his parents, and then the death of what he had believed his “lifelong†relationship, to a partner who was his “never-ending romantic movie,†who leaves him as a result of the HIV positive partner’s renewed health in the wake of improved therapies – and a wanderlust for what his extended life expectancy might hold.
Glaser is dumbstruck by the abandonment, after having moved across the country to follow his partner’s career, and proving his love despite their difference in HIV status. He writes that he knew “my partner might die, not the relationship. When we bought the house, I calculated how difficult it might become for him to navigate the staircase…â€
Actually, Chris Glaser is too easy on the guy. The partner, the one who built a life with him and then unceremoniously dumped him for no compelling reason, was me.
Chris’s book references The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, in which Tom and Huck have the good fortune of attending their own funerals. I had a similar experience reading this post-mortem of our breakup – but instead of hearing the praises of survivors, I saw in clear black and white the grief and confusion of the lover I left behind. The wreckage of my past is on full, excruciating display.
“My ideal world was shattered…†he writes. “I felt worse than unloved. I felt unlovable, unattractive, undesirable. Taking things ‘one day at a time’ seemed like too big a chunk…†And his anguish and battered self esteem lead to a period of misfortune and poor choices. “I dated people who turned out to be scary in one way or another,†he writes. “I drank too much. I acted out sexually. My wallet was stolen…â€
The gay dating pool is frightening enough, but to know I thrust a good man into it, bruised and hurting and without a credible reason why… is a tough chapter to face, my friends. And yet Chris tries his best to protect me from my own history. In a book filled with intimates, living and dead, I alone go unnamed.
The truth is my drug addiction was beginning a decade-long march to destroy me, something Chris only touches upon in his recounting. My secret experimentation with crystal meth, coupled, yes, with my feelings of rebirth as a result of new HIV medication breakthroughs, was a dangerous and cunning combination.
I was a blossoming addict who wanted out: of the marriage, of the perceived limits (of what I couldn’t tell you), of anything that kept me from the siren call of the gym and the dance floor and the circuit parties and the drugs, oh my the drugs, that promised fantastical things around the corner but that somehow never arrived.
With characteristic grace, Chris moves through forgiveness and uses the puzzling experience to evaluate himself and his goals. He changes course in his lifelong struggle for Presbyterian ordination. He reads and re-reads everything that inspires him, from the bible to Gore Vidal, from To Kill a Mockingbird to Zorba the Greek.
Chris finds peace, renewed vitality in his career, and a relationship that exists to this day. As he closes the chapter, he recites a poem that once came to him in his sleep:
Love is being crucified
And rising again
As if it never happened.
That’s love for you.
That’s love for you.
Chris Glaser’s beliefs are many and steadfast, but his faith in love is his most unyielding conviction. In The Final Deadline, and in his life, love never dies.
Tags: aids, family, help others, meth, recovery
Posted in Books and Writings, Family and Friends, Gay Life, Meth and Recovery, My Fabulous Disease | 15 Comments »
A Dance to an Atlanta Night
Saturday, August 14th, 2010
Stephanie’s feet are bare, and she is on a sidewalk, and she is dancing. And everything in the world is exactly as it is supposed to be.
We’ve already been hanging out with each other all evening, our group of a dozen or so. I’m visiting Atlanta for the weekend and have immersed myself in their company. They are familiar companions who know me like my oldest friends. Many of them have seen me in great pain, and in predicaments so seedy I shiver at the details.
My struggle with addiction, the disease I don’t write about as often, has a harder time being fabulous. I suppose my sense of humor about being an addict in recovery is more limited. But the recovery process itself is filled with friendships and giggles and sparkling life, and of unexpected moments of grace. Like this one.
Stephanie has put down her yogurt to show us her routine for a dancing fundraiser coming up. It will raise money for those in recovery, like some of us gathered here. The fundraiser is probably a test of courage rather than talent, with amateur participants spending weeks learning routines and then earning votes at the event, through donations tossed in their bucket. It takes guts and heart and it helps a very good cause.
She is without shame or self-consciousness, kicking off her shoes in front of the yogurt shop as we all step back and take a seat on benches and planters. Other customers stand about with their cups, chatting with chocolate sprinkles atop frothy spoonfuls of almond mocha and french vanilla.
I’ve been delighting in their company, this happy group, in various combinations the entire weekend, and my departure the next day is looming. I want to take them in, hugging and reconnecting.
David is happier than before, and has a boyfriend. Christi’s skin still defies time, age, or stress, as does her steady manner. My best friend and host Charles is among them, gamely hanging out with this motley group whenever I visit. Gary looks handsome and sports his usual ease. I can’t stop hugging Robb.
You may know these people, this constellation, whether or not you’ve ever visited the Big Peach, because they are the friends borne of an ego falling away, when we finally stop posturing and strutting, when we lay bare our doubts and fears and are rewarded with knowing glances and strong hands squeezing ours.
You may know them, or something close. I hope so.
Stephanie is humming her musical accompaniment as she shows us her steps, and we all take happy bites and watch her. Cars roll by. A trio of teenage girls nearby giggle and clap. “She’s a dancer, too!†one says about another, and the young woman steps forward and shadows Stephanie, becoming her partner. A Dance to an Atlanta Night.
It’s a scene from The Music Man, I think to myself, or from a turn-of-the-century ice cream social. We need parasols and handlebar mustaches. And as soon as they finish their dance, I know it’s time to leave. I don’t want this sight to become buried too deep, for it to compete in my minds eye with newer, lesser ones.
Even now, the memory aches.
I say my goodbyes as David and Christi step forward to demonstrate their partner routine for the fundraising contest. The yogurt is gone but people are in no hurry to move on. During my walk away I can hear them snapping their fingers, keeping time.
In the car with Charles, I ask him to slow down as we pass the scene in front of the store. David and Christi, dancing together and laughing at their mistakes. A small crowd of friends and strangers, clapping.
I wonder what the prize for winning the contest might be, and how it could possibly be any more precious than this.
Tags: culture, family, gratitude, help others, meth, recovery, Recreation
Posted in Books and Writings, Family and Friends, Gay Life, Meth and Recovery, My Fabulous Disease | 23 Comments »
My 2010 Gay Pride PSA (that will never air!).
Tuesday, June 15th, 2010
What would I talk about if I had my very own public service announcement?
I’d probably waste the whole thing telling some embarrassing story about growing up gay. Or how much I hate being a queer man pushing 50. What if, though, I really allowed myself to cut the crap and get real?
The result, as it turns out, would be something like this: a little humor, a pinch of honesty, and a punch in the gut. Happy Gay Pride Month!
Tags: acting, Aging, aids, culture, gay, help others, hiv, meth, recovery, Sexuality
Posted in All Other Video Postings, Gay Life, Living with HIV/AIDS, Meth and Recovery, My Fabulous Disease, News, Prevention and Policy | 21 Comments »
Six Tips for Choosing your HIV Doctor
Friday, May 28th, 2010
“Doctor doctor, give me the news I got a bad case of loving you…”
– Robert Palmer
I had to say goodbye to my doctor recently. I was moving out of state, and Dr. David Morris of Pride Medical Group in Atlanta (pictured at right) had been nothing but a patient, supportive teacher to me. Over the years he’s seen me through Hepatitis C, a few crystal meth drug relapses and three boyfriends. I love him and what he’s done for me, and I hated the prospect of finding a replacement in Florida.
Fortunately, Dr. Morris agreed to give me some tips to make the process easier, and in this video episode you’ll see me take his advice. From medical records to being honest about my history, you can watch me use his advice during my very first appointment with Dr. Dominic Riganotti in Ft. Lauderdale.
That’s right. Dr. Riganotti (pictured, below) allowed me to film our very first meeting, and I appreciate his willingness to educate others through this process. And here’s the biggest lesson: don’t be afraid to ask questions about anything you think is important (several suggestions are provided in the video). It is perfectly customary for potential patients to question the doctor’s qualifications to treat them.
If there is anyone is our lives for whom nothing is “too much information,” it’s our doctor. As a patient I used to be more hesitant disclosing private issues like my sexual habits or drug abuse history, but I got over it when I realized my doctor wanted to help me, not put me in jail.
If you visit a doctor who doesn’t like the questions or gives you attitude, you can thank the jerk for their time and go find someone else (or request another provider at your HMO or community health center). This relationship is too important not to feel completely confident in his or her abilities.
I hope this video is helpful to you or someone you know. Thanks for watching, and please be well.
Mark
Tags: aids, hiv, meth, physical, physician, recovery, research
Posted in Living with HIV/AIDS, Meth and Recovery, My Fabulous Disease, Prevention and Policy | 4 Comments »
Positive Lite: Humour and Living with HIV
Monday, May 3rd, 2010
Brian Finch knows a thing or two about “humour” and HIV. As a fellow HIV positive gay man (and addict in recovery) he has applied his entertaining world view to serving as editor of PositiveLite, an uplifting HIV/AIDS oriented site, and to his personal blog, Acid Reflux.
The internet brought Brian and I together almost as soon as My Fabulous Disease launched, due to our obvious affection for mixing humor with our health challenges. This month, Brian interviewed me about my own site and what role humor plays in my recovery. He includes some fun links so I hope you’ll check it out.
Brian is Canadian but manages to be funny anyway. Most recently he went on a shameless, ego-crushing quest to win a meaningless (to most) prize from Kathy Griffin. Brian produced a video begging to win a contest for a personal meet-and-greet she was doing. He did everything in the video but film himself in the shower naked. Okay, he did that too. He lost the contest anyway.
Undeterred, Brian continues his blogging and produces a video series called “The Real Hags of Cabbagetown.” If you think his sense of humor is odd, you may be mildly disconcerted to know there are more like him, whom he features in the offbeat series.
Cheers, Brian!
Tags: A Place Like This, culture, drag, gay, help others, meth, recovery
Posted in Books and Writings, Gay Life, Living with HIV/AIDS, Meth and Recovery, News | No Comments »
The Bilerico Project: The Fabulous Disease of Mark S. King
Thursday, April 29th, 2010
“Someone stepped in and helped me out. I was not capable of getting that needle out of my arm on my own. I’m the one who wouldn’t leave the dance floor. I’m the one who couldn’t get enough of anything. I tried every new drug that came along. I brought that attitude into my new life. Now I can’t get enough of the good stuff.”
– Mark S. King
The Bilerico Project — the largest gay blog on the net — has just picked up a story that originally appeared in the South Florida Gay News. It’s a profile on me by one of their editors, “Father” Tony Adams, and it was a complete pleasure to do.
I met Tony at a seminar I attended last month on blogging (he was on the panel and I was in the audience taking copious notes). Tony was friendly and generous with his time and knowledge of the gay blogosphere. We’ve hung out a couple of times and it’s great to be developing a new friendship with someone also working as a writer. And then there are perks, like Tony asking to do an interview about my fledgling blog site!
At any rate, check out Tony’s fine writing for yourself, and you’ll hear some of the crackerjack slogans I created for the phone sex company I owned in the 1980′s. Aw, don’t tell me you haven’t read my book…
Tags: A Place Like This, Aging, aids, culture, gay, help others, meth, politics, recovery, Sexuality
Posted in Anita Mann and Acting Gigs, Books and Writings, Gay Life, Living with HIV/AIDS, Meth and Recovery, News | No Comments »
HIV Plus Magazine: It’s Just Sex?
Thursday, April 29th, 2010
Sure, you’re HIV-positive, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be having — or don’t deserve to have — the most amazing sex life possible.
This story just hit the stands in HIV Plus Magazine, and I am featured as a profile subject. The writing by Benjamin Ryan is rock solid, and I especially appreciated how sensitive he was about issues of “reclaiming” sexuality after years of drug use.
We (gay men in recovery like me) can get cavalier or just plain giggly when it comes to negotiating a sex life again after getting clean, but in fact it’s a hard and perilous road. “Finances and romances” tend to lead addicts back to drugs again more than anything else, and for those of us who used sex as a side dish to meth, getting our heads screwed back on right ain’t easy.
It’s a thoughtful piece and I hope you’ll check it out.
Tags: barebacking, culture, gay, meth, recovery, Sexuality
Posted in Living with HIV/AIDS, Meth and Recovery, News | No Comments »
Mr. Atlanta Eagle talks leather, crystal meth and HIV.
Wednesday, April 21st, 2010
Chandler Bearden’s smile is creeping through the phone during our call. I’ve just suggested that his winning the impressively sexy title of Mr. Atlanta Eagle 2010 might be a boon to his sex life, but he’s laughing it off.
“Just because I won a title doesn’t mean I’ll change my standards when it comes to sex,†he’s saying, in the casually cool voice of a handsome, single 31-year-old who has the world by the tail and doesn’t even know it… yet. But might the hotness level of potential partners, I insist, be rising as well? “Past title holders tell me it’s bad for your sex life,†Chandler demurs, “because there’s so much work to do before Chicago.â€
Ah, Chicago. That would be the International Mr. Leather contest (IML), the annual pilgrimage of outrageously hot, kinky men from around the globe, who descend on the windy city for a long Memorial Day weekend of exhibitions, sexy shenanigans and, of course, the contest itself.
Chicago is the next stop on a journey that began for Chandler in early April, when he strutted in three categories (bar wear, fetish wear, and your basic jock strap) to win the Eagle title. It might be easy to dismiss the event as a pageant with a kinky streak, but the leather community also prides itself on good stewardship in the gay community. The current reigning Mr. IML, Jeffrey Payne, (on left in photo, with Chandler and Mr. Atlanta Eagle 2009, Alan Penrod) founded the SSC Fund, which benefits sexual rights advocates and services for the hearing impaired.
Chandler has an obvious respect for that kind of community involvement, and he doesn’t hesitate when asked about the issues close to him. “I’m an HIV positive man in recovery from crystal meth addiction,†he offers. “I came from the street, literally, and I’ve been clean for three years. I think I can offer my experience, my strength and my hope when it comes to helping others with similar problems.â€
Fair enough. But isn’t much of the leather/fetish scene based on an element of danger, and pushing boundaries? Might that contribute to drug abuse and alcoholism in that community?
“There could be an element of truth to that,†says Chandler. “But I believe it tends to be blown out of proportion. I myself like to find new edges, but I have to be sure I am physically, mentally and spiritually safe throughout the experience.â€
“I’m not an advocate, like, ‘I think people should sober the fuck up.’ But I am saying that safer sex requires sobriety. If you are pushing limits, you need to have your faculties so you don’t cross them. You can’t always make wise decisions when you’re drunk. I’m not at all interested in having sex with people who are high.â€
My own trip to IML in Chicago, years ago, was a lost weekend of drugs and sex, during the worst of my active addiction to meth. Is Chandler ever tempted to tap someone on the shoulder and tell them they’re an addict or alcoholic?
“Not really,†he says. “When people tried to tell me my life was going down the drain, it didn’t work. I had to come to that realization myself. Being the man I am today is enough of an example, for anyone who is looking for one.â€
Chandler is also an advocate of “full HIV disclosure,†and his reasons are personal. He had a longtime sexual partner who never disclosed his HIV positive status and eventually, Chandler believes, infected him.
“I don’t have a preference regarding the status of my partners today,†he says, “because I know what I need to do to stay safe. There are also other diseases out there, so I want to protect myself from them as much as I protect someone else.â€
The fundamental issue, for Chandler, is one of trust. “There must be trust in order for these fetish or leather scenes to happen safely. And each partner must be honest about their boundaries and be able to really communicate that.â€
Was Chandler speaking about the rules of fetish-themed sex, or simply outlining values – trust, honesty, communication – we can all follow for our health and well being, sexual and otherwise?
The question is pointless. For Chandler Bearden, it’s all the same.
Tags: aids, barebacking, culture, gay, hiv, meth, recovery, Sexuality
Posted in Family and Friends, Gay Life, Meth and Recovery, My Fabulous Disease | 13 Comments »