How addiction to crystal methamphetamine is threatening the gay community's long struggle to turn a corner on the AIDS epidemic. I really shouldn't be trusted. That's the problem with drug addicts like me. We've protected our addiction through a myriad of lies and...
Hiding from the “AIDS at 30” media storm.
I shuttered myself from most of the hoopla surrounding the "AIDS at 30" milestone (we seem to have agreed on June 5, 1981, when an item in the Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report reported deaths among gay men). The trauma of those early years is tough for me to...
My Surprising Lack of Gay Pride
For most of my life I've been judgmental and a little impatient with gay people who didn't just come out. Are the risks really that dire? I suspected they were just chicken shit, or unwilling to stand up to their family or to whatever screwed up religious upbringing...
Calling HIV Negative Gay Men: This is Your Time
This is directed to HIV negative gay men. Listen carefully. This is your time. I've lived with HIV more than half my life, and people often praise me far more than I deserve, simply for surviving. They use words like brave and courageous. You know what takes courage?...
Can I blame gay culture for my drug addiction, please?
After a lifetime of sporadic, recreational drug use, I became a full-blown crystal meth addict ten years ago, and then eventually got clean and sober in January of 2009. But why would I, or anyone as engaged in life as I was, morph into a drug addict? It seemed an...
Trying to put away childish, damaging things.
When I became a man, I put away childish things. -- 1 Corinthians 13:11 We're on a dirt road in the cotton fields, sitting in the back of his Plymouth. It had been my idea to stop and look at the sky, and it doesn't come off like a sneaky move now, because the moon is...
The Hard Facts on Erectile Dysfunction: Pills, Pumps and Prosthetics
I suppose it was only a matter of time before HIV fitness guru and hottie Nelson Vergel and I ended up in bed together. After rummaging through my kitchen in a video blog about healthy eating, and then flexing his biceps at the gym when he instructed me on weight...

My sad and trivial night with Rock Hudson
(This essay appears in my collection of essays, My Fabulous Disease: Chronicles of a Gay Survivor, available now at online outlets or your local bookstore.) Over and over, footage of Rock Hudson standing next to Doris Day was playing on television, and he looked...
Walmart Gets Better.
They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. -- Andy Warhol Yesterday I had a conference call with Walmart public relations manager Ravi Jariwala, and Crosby Cromwell, a manager for constituent relations. We discussed the fact...
Walmart, the G word, and internet activism.
Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads. -- Unknown Walmart is selling the new It Gets Better book. Just don't call it gay. Okay, this is really a story of how a selfish act turned into a firestorm of activism. It has drama, self-righteousness and the hottest...




