My most courageous self, the best man that I’ll ever be, lived more than two decades ago during the first years of a horrific plague.


My most courageous self, the best man that I’ll ever be, lived more than two decades ago during the first years of a horrific plague.

Maintaining a functional existence slipped away, just slowly enough not to alarm me, as if the drugs were quietly sneaking out the door with my life.

I had to create a video in my own peculiar way — something that demonstrates the sense of humor that has served me well over the course of 30 years living with HIV.

These guys must be getting the hang of this, because we discussed and revealed things like never before. From crystal meth addiction to our mothers, nothing was off limits.

I would hear other gay men make disparaging remarks about drag and I withered, unable to admit I was playing to a packed room every Sunday.

I knew about assisted suicide but had never heard of the mechanics of it firsthand… or had witnessed the haunted result like the one that now sat chain smoking across my living room.

One can easily connect the dots between the activists shown in the Oscar nominated documentary “How to Survive a Plague” and these treatment advocates trying to take HIV research across the finish line.

Hooray, HIV negative gay men! Let’s show some love for our negative brothers, who’s with me?

Negotiations between myself and POZ Magazine were heated, I will admit. First they claimed Leibovitz was busy and Scavullo was dead, and then they rejected my request for body painting at the studio to sculpt my abs. Oh, and I had to wear a shirt.
I was knocked out by these people and their daily courage and fortitude. I really want to thank this group for taking me into their homes and lives and allowing me to share their stories with you.

To receive notifications on my latest posts.