Lynne is not a placeholder and she is not a substitute. She is a gift of my survival, and the right friend at the right time to help me conduct my advancing years with more maturity than I might muster alone.
‘Dawson’s 20 Load Weekend’ is the Most Influential Gay Porn Ever Made
It depicted a prevailing truth about gay sexual behavior “post AIDS,” and arguably encouraged risky sexual adventure-seeking. It led to the saturation of bareback porn online. To dismiss this film, to minimize its social and cultural impact, would be unwise indeed.
The Stupid Question: “Are You Clean?”
Anyone who questions whether or not HIV stigma is on the rise need look no further than online profiles and hookup sites, in which “Are you clean?” is asked with infuriating regularity. Or perhaps you have suffered the indignity of someone asking you “The Stupid Question” while negotiating a tryst. The sheer ignorance boggles the mind.
I am the man my father built.
“Never worry about making a fool of yourself,” he would say, “if it means taking a risk, Mark.” He would recognize my adolescent need to simply fit in with everyone else and he would deny me of it, locking his eyes onto mine. “You gotta take the risk.”
The Crystal Meth Connection of the Gay Porn Killer
“… the sheer madness of the crimes, and the killer’s insane determination to make it as shocking as possible, was sickeningly familiar to a recovering methamphetamine addict like me.”
Coming Out with Donna Summer
The music my friends liked when I was a teenager intimidated me. It was the head-banging rock of the early seventies, and it felt alien and unappetizing. Most of all, it just felt… straight, in a way I knew I could never be. Alone in my room, I listened to my beloved...
Remembering, and Saying Her Name
In the Summer of 2008, I received a curious package from Bonnie Goldman, the editor of TheBody.com. Inside was a Flip video camera, what was then a new-fangled device that allowed you to take video footage with a camera the size of a pack of cigarettes. It came with a...
The Unfortunate Pursuits of a Gay Porn Critic
Being a writer is not without its perks. I can’t exactly name one at the moment, but I’m certain they exist. Hold it, here's one. Starting sentences with “Being a writer…” Oh, and receiving gay erotic fiction from a guy who wants feedback on his work. This morning as...
Dealing with Shame can be a Drag
“We’re born naked… and the rest is drag.” -- RuPaulWhen I was nine years old, I took my parents’ album of the Broadway musical “Damn Yankees” and memorized every syllable of Gwen Verdon’s show stopper, “Who’s Got the Pain When They Do the Mambo?” Once I was satisfied...
Grave Hep C News… and oh yeah, the Oscars!
The image in my mind has never left me, even after many years of trying, of applying layers of wallpaper to that corner of my mind. I am in someone’s bedroom -- it could have been anyone, really -- and I am offered a syringe to inject crystal meth. The syringe has...
