Nelson Vergel is not impressed with my refridgerator. Sure, it has double doors and a freezer drawer, but he's criticizing almost every damn thing inside it. Most of the items say "low fat" or "sugar free," but he claims it's all a terrible lie. Letting the HIV...
Carlton’s glorious, dangerous denial.
My friend Carlton is a chain smoker, even if all his cigarettes are imaginary. His standard pose consists of one hand resting on his hip -- elbow jutting out as if in the midst of a runway strut -- while the other arm is forever in motion, his hand swiveling...
Recovering Joy
"Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea. Joy to you and me." " Hoyt Axton If you have spent any time wandering around this blog or watching my videos, you know I have an almost stubbornly positive view of things. I like to smile, I love to laugh, and if someone is...
Hurting Mom (or) My First Gay Christmas
There is so much distance in my mother's eyes that I fear she may never come close to me again. Circling her stare are wrinkles of pain, betrayal even, and in her hand she holds the watch. It was December of my senior year of high school, and things had calmed down...
Once, When We Were Heroes.
My brother Richard smiles a lot. He has an easy laugh. But there was a time, years ago, when he held a poisonous drink in his hands and begged his dying lover not to swallow it. A time when Richard held the concoction they had prepared together and wept. Emil couldn't...
(Not exactly) Like a Prayer
Soon, as many families take a seat at their Thanksgiving table, after the food is set but just before the feasting begins, a paralyzing moment will occur. What now? They'll wonder, glancing left and right. Should we pray? Uncomfortable seconds will tick by. Finally,...
My mega-blog week with The Bilerico Project
This week I am honored to be a "guest host" for The Bilerico Project, the leading online blogging salon for GLBT commentary, politics and culture. My job is to contribute three times a day and get out of my HIV rut! I'm having fun with pop culture topics you don't...
My t-cells could use a facelift.
Can I still complain about getting older if I was supposed to be dead twenty years ago? That's the dilemma of aging HIV positive guys like me. Feeling victorious over AIDS only takes your self esteem so far; there's no HIV medication to fight wrinkles. Oh wait, there...
Examining death, including the one I caused.
My memorial service will be fabulous, I can assure you of that. I first outlined it during the initial, deadly wave of AIDS in the 1980's, and have edited it here and there over the years, updating the songs I would like played or the video footage shown. Focusing on...
My video report aboard the HIV Cruise Retreat
If I clear my mind, I can transport myself back to so many fun moments during the 2010 HIV Cruise Retreat. Maybe I'm zip-lining through the rain forest of Costa Rica, or I'm gorging myself at the dessert buffet. The water slide high above the 3,000 passenger ship will...
